March 3: Bush Congratulates Putin

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11:24 AM EST Monday March 3, 2008

Bush43: Hiya Vlad!

SupremeLeader: Hello Bush

Bush43: Congratulations on the election
Bush43: You're guy won

SupremeLeader: Yes, I knew he -
SupremeLeader: oops
SupremeLeader: I am GLAD he won

Bush43: What's his name - Medivac, Medicare?

SupremeLeader: Medvedev!
SupremeLeader: Dmitry Medvedev

Bush43: Whatever...
Bush43: Looks like he needs to buy a vowel

SupremeLeader: What?

Bush43: Missin' an 'i' in his first name - Dimitry

SupremeLeader: No he's not...
SupremeLeader: thank you for understanding our language

Bush43: Hey, no problem

SupremeLeader: Uhh,... not a compliment
SupremeLeader: I am a bit offended, actually

Bush43: Really?
Bush43: Here I go to the trouble to reach out?

SupremeLeader: Doesn't matter
SupremeLeader: Like many Americans, you are impolite
SupremeLeader: Maybe you should go back to getting David Bowie's wife drunk

Bush43: Excuse me?

SupremeLeader: Our intelligence reports say you are trying to get Iran bombed

Bush43: You dork!

SupremeLeader: Do not insult me!

Bush43: David Bowie's wife is not Iran!
Bush43: I believe it is Yemen

SupremeLeader: Seriously?

Bush43: Go Gooble it and see for yourself

SupremeLeader: You mean Gookul it?

Bush43: Maybe that's it

SupremeLeader: Sorry
SupremeLeader: All this time I thought you were trying to pickup a musician's wife

Bush43: Maybe my predidsessor would have done that

SupremeLeader: Oh, Clinton

Bush43: That's him

SupremeLeader: We saw he met Carly Simon on Kennedy's island

Bush43: That foots with the CIA report

SupremeLeader: Foots?

Bush43: We herd the same thing
Bush43: Anyway - I was honestly reachin' out to say congratulations

SupremeLeader: Thank you very much

Bush43: If there's anything I can do for you, let me know

SupremeLeader: Maybe one thing
SupremeLeader: Kind of personal

Bush43: What is it?

SupremeLeader: Russian condoms are of poor quality

Bush43: Like your cars?

SupremeLeader: Don't push it, George

Bush43: Sorry

SupremeLeader: Could you arrange to have American condoms shipped to Moscow?

Bush43: Well, the State Department can do just about anything

SupremeLeader: Great
SupremeLeader: I would order them online but I don't want to risk getting spam to my e-mail address

Bush43: I understand
Bush43: How many?

SupremeLeader: I need 7 dozen to last a month

Bush43: You are an active boy

SupremeLeader: It relieves stress and the election has been hell on my nerves

Bush43: Tell me about it

SupremeLeader: Well, it all started when my term was up...

Bush43: NO, NO, NO - that's just a figure of speech
Bush43: Don't tell me about the election

SupremeLeader: Back to the condoms

Bush43: So, 7 dozen to the Kremil in Moscow?

SupremeLeader: That's Kremlin - but don't ship them there
SupremeLeader: Please send them to my house outside Moscow

Bush43: What's the address?

SupremeLeader: Your CIA has it
SupremeLeader: The USS Roosevelt has ICBM missile 015486-B currently aimed at it

Bush43: Of course, of course...
Bush43: I forgot

SupremeLeader: Can they wrap the package in a plain brown paper?

Bush43: Not a problem

SupremeLeader: One thing...

Bush43: ?

SupremeLeader: I need a special size
SupremeLeader: 10 inches long by 6 inches wide

Bush43: Wow -
Bush43: But that's not a problem

SupremeLeader: Will the size require a custom order?

Bush43: Nah,
Bush43: In the USA we call that a "medium"

SupremeLeader: Really?

Bush43: Pretty much

SupremeLeader: Thanks for the help with a sensitive topic

Bush43: No problem
Bush43: I hope You and Dmitry have a nice time

SupremeLeader: WHAT?

Bush43: Just messin' with ya, Vlad
Bush43: Glad to help

SupremeLeader: Thanks

Bush43: Bye

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