March 12: Al Makes an Inconvenient Request

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5:21 AM EST Wednesday February 27, 2008

$avingThePlanet: Senator?

BigMo4DC: Good Morning, Al
BigMo4DC: Very nice to hear from you

$avingThePlanet: Great win in Mississippi

BigMo4DC: It's a good feeling

$avingThePlanet: I can imagine

BigMo4DC: A lot of work to do in Pennsylvania
BigMo4DC: And we're waiting for that putz Howard Dean to sort out Michigan and Florida

$avingThePlanet: I really would appreciate it if you didn't use that word around me

BigMo4DC: Putz?

$avingThePlanet: No,... Florida

BigMo4DC: On my gosh, Al - I'm sorry
BigMo4DC: It still stings?

$avingThePlanet: Only when I am awake or breathing

BigMo4DC: Ouch
BigMo4DC: Anyway - what can I do for you?

$avingThePlanet: Well, Kerry and I are on your side

BigMo4DC: Thank you very much, Al
BigMo4DC: Just don't tell me you want a cabinet post or something like Edwards did

$avingThePlanet: He what?

BigMo4DC: He wants to parlay his delegates into a shot at being US Attorney General

$avingThePlanet: That's certainly assumptive and opportunistic...

BigMo4DC: No Kidding.

$avingThePlanet: What did you tell him?

BigMo4DC: I told him he was on the list and chill out for now

$avingThePlanet: Good call
$avingThePlanet: I would never ask for something like that

BigMo4DC: You are above it

$avingThePlanet: I might offer support in exchange for an ambassadorship - but never, ever the prestige of a cabinet post

BigMo4DC: Uh,... what are you getting at?

$avingThePlanet: To be named an ambassador is below radar and not a huge thing to ask

BigMo4DC: Ambassador to where?

$avingThePlanet: The moon

BigMo4DC: Ha - you finally tell a funny joke!

$avingThePlanet: Actually it wasn't a joke

BigMo4DC: You are serious?
BigMo4DC: You want to be ambassador to the moon?

$avingThePlanet: The moon carries mythic and scientific relevance for the people of earth
$avingThePlanet: It remains an under-represented force in our everyday lives
$avingThePlanet: We have visited, but we never returned
$avingThePlanet: How do you think the moon feels about that?

BigMo4DC: I need to lay down and put a cold cloth on my head
BigMo4DC: Then, I am going to call Ted Kennedy

$avingThePlanet: Why call Teddy?

BigMo4DC: It is time for me to start drinking heavily and I need to consult an expert

$avingThePlanet: That's a little extreme, Senator

BigMo4DC: Not from where I sit...

$avingThePlanet: At least think it over

BigMo4DC: Yeah - over a triple Scotch and water

$avingThePlanet: I am going to go now -
$avingThePlanet: You need some contemplation time

BigMo4DC: I think I need more than that

$avingThePlanet: Like what?

BigMo4DC: Like sanity to return to many, many people

$avingThePlanet: You go lay down

BigMo4DC: Bye

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March 6: Kerry and Gore Hatch A Plan

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11:18 AM EST Thursday March 6, 2008

$avingThePlanet: Senator

IStillMatter: Hi Al!

$avingThePlanet: We need to talk

IStillMatter: You get a call from Dean too?

$avingThePlanet: I certainly did

IStillMatter: In my book, he's still insane

$avingThePlanet: I agree - his icecaps are melting

IStillMatter: Ha - very funny

$avingThePlanet: We need to save the party

IStillMatter: Save the planet, save the party - you seen to be always saving something

$avingThePlanet: I also just saved $219 on my car insurance
$avingThePlanet: Heh, heh, heh - a little joke there

IStillMatter: Al, as a friend... don't even try to tell jokes

$avingThePlanet: You're probably right
$avingThePlanet: I hear that a lot, actually

IStillMatter: And there's no Nobel prize for Stand-Up Comedy

$avingThePlanet: Hmm,... that's even more reason not to do it

IStillMatter: Back to the party problem

$avingThePlanet: Dean has lost control...

IStillMatter: Hillary is being even more divisive than usual...

$avingThePlanet: Now THAT's saying something

IStillMatter: True

$avingThePlanet: We need to neutralize the situation so the party can prepare to defeat McCain in November

IStillMatter: Any ideas?

$avingThePlanet: We need a peace plan

IStillMatter: What about a Camp David summit?

$avingThePlanet: Except that the current Camp David landlord is "W"

IStillMatter: Crap - right, that won't work

$avingThePlanet: We need a plan to bring them together

IStillMatter: Unfortunately both want to run for President

$avingThePlanet: One needs to agree to be VP

IStillMatter: What about sending them to Club Med

$avingThePlanet: What?!?

IStillMatter: It worked for Rep. Barney Frank and Sen. Larry Craig
IStillMatter: They were locked in heated a Senate vs. House debate over the farm bill
IStillMatter: But - after a weekend at Club Med, they seem to have worked things out

$avingThePlanet: I...... I don't think that works in this case

IStillMatter: Why not - have you seen Obamas wife?
IStillMatter: I tell ya, that there is anger on wheels
IStillMatter: She's the kind of woman you have to drop with the first punch

$avingThePlanet: WHAT?!?

IStillMatter: No, seriously - if you just wing her, you're screwed - it's gonna be a battle

$avingThePlanet: Senator, I really think we need to take a different approach

IStillMatter: You have any ideas?

$avingThePlanet: Maybe we could persuade the Florida delegates to follow the OVERALL delegate totals

IStillMatter: You mean ignore the primary vote?

$avingThePlanet: There wasn't a vote

IStillMatter: So get them to abamdon hillary?

$avingThePlanet: Precisely

IStillMatter: Are you sure you can get the Florida Democratic Party people to do what you want?

$avingThePlanet: I am quite confident

IStillMatter: How so?

$avingThePlanet: You could say they owe me one...

IStillMatter: oops, I forgot

$avingThePlanet: This is delicious, actually

IStillMatter: Revenge is a dish best served cold

$avingThePlanet: And thanks to global warming, no child will ever have to eat a cold meal

IStillMatter: ?

$avingThePlanet: Just a little joke, there

IStillMatter: Here again, Al - don't try to tell jokes

$avingThePlanet: Sorry

IStillMatter: If this works, you could take credit, write a book, go on a lecture tour, and win a Nobel PEACE prize

$avingThePlanet: I like the way you think!

IStillMatter: Keep me posted

$avingThePlanet: Will-do

IStillMatter: Gotta go. My yacht is being detailed and I have to pick it up by noon

$avingThePlanet: You should consider a sailboat

IStillMatter: Too preppy
IStillMatter: And chicks dig the yacht
IStillMatter: When the four 600-horsepower diesel engines fire up, it's an impressive sight

$avingThePlanet: You know, John - when this is over, we should really talk about your carbon footprint

IStillMatter: I'll think about it

$avingThePlanet: Have a nice weekend

IStillMatter: later....

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