March 9: Bill Is Still Bill

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1:45 PM EST Sunday March 9, 2008

It'sNotOver: Hey Bill?

LoveBubba: Good-job in Wyoming

It'sNotOver: Shut up

LoveBubba: 59,000 Democrat voters in the state and you could have practically called 51% of them yourself.

It'sNotOver: I just love how supportive you are

LoveBubba: And I love how I have been sent to Humidity-Township, Mississippi to speak to nobody

It'sNotOver: Closed topic
It'sNotOver: All of this won't matter after the Super Delegates go our way

LoveBubba: I'm not hearing good things on that front, babe

It'sNotOver: We will win the overall popular vote,
It'sNotOver: We crushed Obama in Ohio and we won TX and CA
It'sNotOver: We WILL FORCE the party to select me

LoveBubba: Maybe so, but Obama will be a problem
LoveBubba: I'm thinking he won't take the VP slot

It'sNotOver: Why the hell not?

LoveBubba: He talks to Gore...
LoveBubba: That can't be good

It'sNotOver: I knew that unappreciative, green blimp would betray us!

LoveBubba: Easy does it, Hilla
LoveBubba: I sorta figured it would happen

It'sNotOver: Why can't everyone just do what we tell them?

LoveBubba: They think for themselves these-days
LoveBubba: And what did you do to upset Oprah?

It'sNotOver: ?

LoveBubba: She is p-i-s-s-e-d

It'sNotOver: Not worried

LoveBubba: Millions of viewers and tons of influence, honey

It'sNotOver: Why can't you look at the bright side?

LoveBubba: I am trying to find one

It'sNotOver: Stop it!

LoveBubba: There is a good thing about campaigning down South

It'sNotOver: What is it?

LoveBubba: Lots of Hooters

It'sNotOver: What?

LoveBubba: It's a restaurant and they are everywhere
LoveBubba: On every corner - like gas stations in big cities

It'sNotOver: Is this where the girls wear orange hot pants
It'sNotOver: AND t-shirts that are 2-sizes too small?

LoveBubba: THAT'S THEM
LoveBubba: Nice family atmosphere

It'sNotOver: Family?

LoveBubba: Well, Dad's and boys - that's a big part of most families, right?

It'sNotOver: UGH!
It'sNotOver: PLEASE do not get photographed in a Hooters!

LoveBubba: I tell you, Southerners must be powered by hot wings and Bud Light

It'sNotOver: I DO NOT like any of this

LoveBubba: The Hooters girls love me
LoveBubba: And they weren't even old enough to vote in 1992

It'sNotOver: Ahem, are they old enough to drive today?

LoveBubba: Good point - I'll have an assistant start pre-secreening

It'sNotOver: Three words: Age-Of-Consent

LoveBubba: Whatever...
LoveBubba: I am like a rock star!

It'sNotOver: I want you back at campaign HQ tomorrow morning

LoveBubba: I'm thinking no

It'sNotOver: If you start a controversy, I will kill you

LoveBubba: Ooooh, there's a headline
LoveBubba: Anyway - I gotta go...
LoveBubba: I have a speech to do before the Atlanta NASCAR race starts

It'sNotOver: Seriously, you need to come back to HQ

LoveBubba: YOU sent me out here and I am finally getting used to it
LoveBubba: So, YOU get back to preparing for Pennsylvania
LoveBubba: I'll be sure the people of Mississippi still love me
LoveBubba: I mean,... vote for you

It'sNotOver: I'm sending a plane to get you

LoveBubba: It's flying back empty, honey
LoveBubba: You need to think green and not waste fuel like that

It'sNotOver: You are dead

LoveBubba: Maybe, but not today
LoveBubba: I gotta go, the National Anthem is in 5 minutes and then the race starts
LoveBubba: I'm starting to really like NASCAR

It'sNotOver: This is my moment and you are threatening to screw it up!

LoveBubba: Later, babe

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March 5: Hillary and Dean Debate

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11:13 PM EST Wednesday March 5, 2008

It'sNotOver: Howard?

It'sMyParty: Hello Senator

It'sNotOver: We need to talk about my Michigan and Florida Delegates
It'sNotOver: We need your assurances

It'sMyParty: Assurances?
It'sMyParty: of WHAT?!?

It'sNotOver: You KNOW who is set to win this thing...

It'sMyParty: No, I most certainly do NOT

It'sNotOver: C'mon Howard, I won NY, CA, TX and Ohio

It'sMyParty: Actually, you only won 51.4% of the delegates on that list

It'sNotOver: A win is a win

It'sMyParty: No, actually it is not
It'sMyParty: The cumulative popular vote clearly favors Senator Obama
It'sMyParty: AND, the delegate math from here to Denver is NOT in your favor

It'sNotOver: Don't lecture me you figurehead!

It'sMyParty: Oh boy, here we go...
It'sMyParty: I am not going to listen to this crap

It'sNotOver: Obama doesn't have a chance against McCain in November

It'sMyParty: YOU DO?
It'sMyParty: Your negatives are horrifying
It'sMyParty: You need to win 90% of the 57% of voters that don't simply hate you

It'sNotOver: I only need to beat McCain

It'sMyParty: And Al Queda "only" needs a nap...

It'sNotOver: What does that mean?

It'sMyParty: You just don't get it
It'sMyParty: I will NOT modify rules to favor you based on your unbiased opinion that you and only you should be the nominee

It'sNotOver: From my perspective, it's not an unreasonable request

It'sMyParty: Unbelievable!
It'sMyParty: Nor is asking the press to ignore the intern under the desk!

It'sNotOver: Now I am getting upset

It'sMyParty: There's a newsflash...
It'sMyParty: When are you not angry about something?

It'sNotOver: You are pushing your luck
It'sNotOver: Maybe we should replay your "I Have a Scream" Speech

It'sMyParty: I don't understand that comment

It'sNotOver: America needs to know I am being oppressed by an ego-maniac running the Democratic party

It'sMyParty: That's an incredible statement!
It'sMyParty: So everyone is either in on one of your schemes or they are out to get you?

It'sNotOver: Now you are making sense

It'sMyParty: Are you psychotic?

It'sNotOver: I am entitled to this nomination

It'sMyParty: No you are not - the electorate, delegates and process will determine it

It'sNotOver: This is getting nowhere

It'sMyParty: Like your campaign?

It'sNotOver: We need to get together live and settle this

It'sMyParty: Settle this?

It'sNotOver: Are you available for dinner Saturday?

It'sMyParty: Uh, no...

It'sNotOver: You need to make Saturday work - I am campaigning 24X7 every weekday

It'sMyParty: I already have dinner plans

It'sNotOver: Break them

It'sMyParty: Can't do that

It'sNotOver: Who is dinner with?

It'sMyParty: Barack, Michelle, Charles Gibson, and Oprah
It'sMyParty: We get together every Friday

It'sNotOver: I just LOVE how ABC stays impartial

It'sMyParty: Oh, you have a problem with that?
It'sMyParty: Go back to threatening Super Delegates

It'sNotOver: I'll be back!

It'sMyParty: That's so trite...
It'sMyParty: So now you are running for Governor of Kahleeforneeya?

It'sNotOver: Screw you!

It'sMyParty: BYE

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March 4: Cat Fight!

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2:11 PM EST Monday March 4, 2008

It'sNotOver: Oprah?

QueenOfAllMedia: Hello Senator
QueenOfAllMedia: Nice to hear from you

It'sNotOver: You are more cordial than I would have expected

QueenOfAllMedia: Some of us are decent people

It'sNotOver: What's that supposed to mean?

QueenOfAllMedia: Why are you so sensitive?

It'sNotOver: I am not sensitive

QueenOfAllMedia: Are too

It'sNotOver: Am not

QueenOfAllMedia: Are too and you are not very convincing
QueenOfAllMedia: I imagine it's a tough day waiting for Ohio and Texas to reject you

It'sNotOver: I will emerge victorious!

QueenOfAllMedia: Yeah, keep telling yourself that...

It'sNotOver: You betrayed our friendship

QueenOfAllMedia: WHO betrayed WHO?
QueenOfAllMedia: Your deceit and revisionist history has hit a new low

It'sNotOver: You have some nerve!

QueenOfAllMedia: What? Thinking for myself?

It'sNotOver: Betraying a trust!

QueenOfAllMedia: Here again, false accusations on parade!

It'sNotOver: You will regret this

QueenOfAllMedia: How?
QueenOfAllMedia: Unlike others, I CANNOT be bought
QueenOfAllMedia: Ahem,... I tend to do the brokering

It'sNotOver: What's that supposed to mean

QueenOfAllMedia: For starters,... let's see....
QueenOfAllMedia: Your campaign is a gold mine of tell-all books
QueenOfAllMedia: "Oprah's Top 10" will have to be expanded to "Top 20"

It'sNotOver: You wouldn't!

QueenOfAllMedia: Try me!

It'sNotOver: You will pay!

QueenOfAllMedia: Au contraire!
QueenOfAllMedia: Millions of readers will pay...
QueenOfAllMedia: They will pay for millions of tell-all books...
QueenOfAllMedia: Talking about the dark side of you and Mr. Zipper!

It'sNotOver: That won't ever happen!
It'sNotOver: We have friends who will stop you

QueenOfAllMedia: Not with my ratings they won't!

It'sNotOver: We have many loyal friends!

QueenOfAllMedia: Fewer today than yesterday, honey
QueenOfAllMedia: And fewer tomorrow than today
QueenOfAllMedia: the bandwagon is empty, babe!

It'sNotOver: You have no idea what we are capable of!

QueenOfAllMedia:What are you and your broken-ass campaign going to do?

It'sNotOver: You will find out soon enough

QueenOfAllMedia: Want to hear the punchline?

It'sNotOver: Pardon?

QueenOfAllMedia: The massive profits from all of those tell-all books...
QueenOfAllMedia: They will be routed into a special PAC...
QueenOfAllMedia: It's named "OR2012"

It'sNotOver: What the F*** is OR2012?

QueenOfAllMedia: "Obama Re-election 2012"
QueenOfAllMedia: Deal with it!

It'sNotOver: I am about to cry!

QueenOfAllMedia: Do you need Katie Couric's number?

It'sNotOver: NO I DON'T!

QueenOfAllMedia: Uhh,.. yes you do...
QueenOfAllMedia: She changed her number yesterday to avoid constant harranging from your campaign pimps

It'sNotOver: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

QueenOfAllMedia: Bwaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahah!

It'sNotOver: How can you laugh?

QueenOfAllMedia: Well, because the times,... they are-a-changin'!

It'sNotOver: We will strike back!

QueenOfAllMedia: HA - that's great!
QueenOfAllMedia: Good luck to you and the death star team!
QueenOfAllMedia: As for me,... I'm calling Prentice Hall and Random House
QueenOfAllMedia: There are authors to book and contracts to sign!

It'sNotOver: You just made the enemies list, sister!

QueenOfAllMedia: How Nixonian of you... and don't "sister"me, Senator
QueenOfAllMedia: Your list must weigh 25 pounds by now
QueenOfAllMedia: Probably the size of the NY white pages
QueenOfAllMedia: It will take you some time to get through it
QueenOfAllMedia: Then again,... pretty soon you are gonna have LOTS of free time!

It'sNotOver: I am done with you!

QueenOfAllMedia: As are MANY people with you...

QueenOfAllMedia: I'm outta here!

QueenOfAllMedia: Gotta get my hair done for the Obama Coronation!

It'sNotOver: Arrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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Feb 28: Hillary Makes A Play

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7:28 AM EST Monday February 28, 2008

It'sNotOver: Hey cutie...

Delegates4U: beg your pardon?

It'sNotOver: Smile for mommy

Delegates4U: I am suddenly very, very uncomfortable

It'sNotOver: C'mon now, you play around...

Delegates4U: Where is this going?

It'sNotOver: How about some love for some delegates?

Delegates4U: Ughhh... I just had breakfast
Delegates4U: You are not my type, Senator

It'sNotOver: No, no, no, sweetie...
It'sNotOver: I would have a surrogate handle the program for me

Delegates4U: This is now weird
Delegates4U: How many friggin' surrogates are in your campaign?

It'sNotOver: A lot...
It'sNotOver: Outsourcing is common these days

Delegates4U: Not by married men

It'sNotOver: C'mon, Johnny, we all know you are not 100% married

Delegates4U: I getting uncomfortable again

It'sNotOver: The good news is...

Delegates4U: There is GOOD news?

It'sNotOver: YOU get to pick the surrogate!
It'sNotOver: Any of a number of Hollywood glam-girls!

Delegates4U: Hmm,... on second thought
Delegates4U: Let me think for a minute

It'sNotOver: Any favorites?

Delegates4U: How about Renee Witherspoon or Amber Tamblyn?

It'sNotOver: Wow - interesting choices
It'sNotOver: There's a 7 year gap between them...
It'sNotOver: Renee may need to get a sitter, too
It'sNotOver: Why not go young and book Amber?

Delegates4U: Very analytical..
Delegates4U: I agree - Amber it is!

It'sNotOver: Good choice...
It'sNotOver: Hang on, I'll txt here and check
It'sNotOver: brb


It'sNotOver: ...waiting for a reply...

It'sNotOver: Crap! She says that day is double-booked

Delegates4U: Tell her to cancel...
Delegates4U: Don't you have the juice?

It'sNotOver: YES I DO
It'sNotOver: txting again...

It'sNotOver: waiting...

It'sNotOver: Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!

Delegates4U: Calm down...
Delegates4U: What's up?

It'sNotOver: She's double booked with BILL!

Delegates4U: Oh boy...

It'sNotOver: I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!

Delegates4U: Well, Senator... ahem....
Delegates4U: YOU sent him out to the tier-2 markets to keep him away from National media...

It'sNotOver: I AM AWARE OF THAT!

Delegates4U: He was left unattended and must have got bored

It'sNotOver: THANK-YOU-DR.-PHIL!

Delegates4U: I'm having second thoughts here

It'sNotOver: Wait, wait wait...
It'sNotOver: I can set this up with someone else
It'sNotOver: Christie Brinkley is a reliable firewall!

Delegates4U: You like to invoke firewalls when you are losing, don't you?

It'sNotOver: I am suddenly not liking your tone

Delegates4U: Fine. Whatever...
Delegates4U: The answer is no.

It'sNotOver: Wait, wait, wait
It'sNotOver: Don't close the window!

Delegates4U: Goodbye, Senator


Delegates4U: *click*

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Feb 25: Hill Checks-On Bill

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5:14 AM EST Monday February 25, 2008

It'sNotOver: Bill?

LoveBubba: Oh, Hi - NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU

It'sNotOver: Still upset about being sent to the field?

LoveBubba: YES I am...

It'sNotOver: You were pissing off the National Media and Voters
It'sNotOver: It was impacting the campaign

LoveBubba: Well, you're doing a helluva job without me

It'sNotOver: Stuff the sarcasm
It'sNotOver: We have talked about this!

LoveBubba: I feel like Willard effing Scott
LoveBubba: Barnstorming %&#*%! county fairs
LoveBubba: I gave a speech from the back of a pickup truck!

It'sNotOver: Really?

LoveBubba: Yes, really - here's the picture























It'sNotOver: Hmm, I see your point

LoveBubba: Gee, thanks...

It'sNotOver: Where were you?

LoveBubba: Armpit, Texas

It'sNotOver: Be nice

LoveBubba: Seriously, Hilla - I'm bouncing around tier-2 markets and speaking to half-full gymnasiums at doggone high schools

It'sNotOver: That's what we sent you to do

LoveBubba: I'll miss your Cleveland debate because the motel - yes a MOTEL - doesn't have cable!

It'sNotOver: Oh well,...

LoveBubba: Let me come back home

It'sNotOver: Nope. Too risky

LoveBubba: I can't believe I am doing this
LoveBubba: I haven't seen a mainstream reporter in 2 weeks

It'sNotOver: Exactly
It'sNotOver: Bye -

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Feb 17: Hillary Blows a Gasket

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8:19 PM EST Sunday February 17, 2008

BigMo4DC: Hey

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Don't 'hey' me...
SuperDelegatesAreMine: It's Senator!

BigMo4DC: HA! You don't deserve that title

SuperDelegatesAreMine: That's insulting and disrespectful

BigMo4DC: How can YOU possibly talk about respect?
BigMo4DC: Especially as you try to steal the nomination!

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Steal?
SuperDelegatesAreMine: Look rookie, rules are rules

BigMo4DC: Rules? YOU are breaking rules left and right
BigMo4DC: You are discounting the voice of the people

SuperDelegatesAreMine: VOTERS? THE PEOPLE?
SuperDelegatesAreMine: THE PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA
SuperDelegatesAreMine: THE PEOPLE ARE MINDLESS AND BRAINLESS
SuperDelegatesAreMine: THEY ARE A FLOCK THAT MUST BE BE LED

BigMo4DC: Calm down
BigMo4DC: You are gong to have a stroke
BigMo4DC: On second thought, in honor of the Daytona 500...
BigMo4DC: Go ahead and blow a gasket

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Who are the "Daytona 500?"
SuperDelegatesAreMine: Are they a repressed minority or something?

BigMo4DC: That comment is simply incredible
BigMo4DC: I am speechless

SuperDelegatesAreMine: THERE'S A CHANGE!

BigMo4DC: Don't be pathetic

SuperDelegatesAreMine: You have some nerve

BigMo4DC: Yeah, right
BigMo4DC: I'll tell you what else I have...
BigMo4DC: I have the delegate lead
BigMo4DC: I did it running against TWO candidates

SuperDelegatesAreMine: You call EDWARDS a candidate?

BigMo4DC: Actually, I was referring to the Erection-In-Chief

SuperDelegatesAreMine: You will NOT speak to me that way

BigMo4DC: YOU WILL NOT manipulate the system
BigMo4DC: YOU WILL NOT frustrate the will of the people

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Don't be ridiculous, it's done...

BigMo4DC: Ridiculous?
BigMo4DC: Sending your campaign manager to tell the Sunday talk shows that this is over is ridiculous

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Your underdog days are over!

BigMo4DC: Oh, so you are saying there's no Eli Manning in this campaign?

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Who the hell is Eli Manning?
SuperDelegatesAreMine: Is he a Super Delegate?

BigMo4DC: Oh, that's perfect...
BigMo4DC: You are brazen AND clueless

SuperDelegatesAreMine: Die!

BigMo4DC: I am going to enjoy watching you wilt

SuperDelegatesAreMine: See you in Wisconsin!

BigMo4DC: Really? You don't even campaign there...

SuperDelegatesAreMine: I meant OHIO!

BigMo4DC: One loss at a time, Senator

SuperDelegatesAreMine: You still don't get it

BigMo4DC: No. YOU don't get it
BigMo4DC: The world is watching
BigMo4DC: This won't be stolen

SuperDelegatesAreMine: We'll see about that

BigMo4DC: Yes,... yes WE will

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Feb 14: Its Different at Their House

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11:46 AM EST Thursday February 14, 2008

YouAllAreFired: Bill?

YouAllAreFired: Yoo hoo...

LoveBubba: Oh, Hi Hilla
LoveBubba: How's Texas?

YouAllAreFired: I'm in Ohio, dear

LoveBubba: Well, Happy Valentines Day

YouAllAreFired: Happy Valentines Day to you too

LoveBubba: How's the day going?

YouAllAreFired: Just fine.
YouAllAreFired: Did you do the errand?
YouAllAreFired: I left a note on the counter

LoveBubba: Yeah, I gave it to our guy

YouAllAreFired: Perfect

LoveBubba: The photos came out great
LoveBubba: He Photoshopped Chris Matthews and Katie Couric in a hot tub
LoveBubba: We sent it with a dozen roses to Chris' wife

YouAllAreFired: I love it when a plan comes together!

LoveBubba: You are a genius

YouAllAreFired: Don't flatter me, dear
YouAllAreFired: Speaking of flowers...