March 7: Bush is Confused

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5:15 AM EST Friday March 7, 2008

I'mTheMan: George?

Bush43: Please, call me George

I'mTheMan: Uh,... Hi George

Bush43: Hello Senator

I'mTheMan: Thanks for the endorsement and media exposure
I'mTheMan: And especially for the wonderful White House visit

Bush43: No sweat!
Bush43: It's nothing compared to what we'll do when you clinch the nomination in Denver

I'mTheMan: Uh,... I already clinched and...
I'mTheMan: the Democrats will be in Denver

Bush43: At the same time?!?!?!
Bush43: Holy crap!
Bush43: Someone is in deep dung for not checkin'!

I'mTheMan: Sir, if I may...

Bush43: Better be quick - I gotta make some phone calls and sort this crap out

I'mTheMan: First, I have already clinched the delegate count

Bush43: That's great John!
Bush43: Why didn't you say something when you were at the White House this week?

I'mTheMan: I thought the visit was to.... uhh, nevermind
I'mTheMan: Second, The Republicans will be in Minneapolis-St.Paul

Bush43: Oh,.. so somebody already figured out the Denver mess?

I'mTheMan: At this point, I am just going to say, "Yes"

Bush43: Good thing!

I'mTheMan: You will be giving a keynote address at the convention

Bush43: I am?

I'mTheMan: Yes - it's an hour-long speech

Bush43: What can I possible talk about for a whole hour?

I'mTheMan: Many people are already asking that question

Bush43: Somebody will write something nice and put it in the scrollie thingee

I'mTheMan: The what?

Bush43: The scrolliee thingee that's in front of me when I talk to crowds or people

I'mTheMan: I believe it's called a teleprompter

Bush43: Whatever, some words will be rollin' and I'll read-em
Bush43: Anyway, exactly which city is the convention in?

I'mTheMan: Excuse me?

Bush43: You said Minneapolis - St. Paul
Bush43: I need to know which one
Bush43: My job is to tell the pilot of Air Force-1

I'mTheMan: You do what?

Bush43: When I get on AF-1, I give the destination to the pilot
Bush43: I write the secret three letter airport code on a sticky note and give it to him
Bush43: Cheney set this procedure up for me

I'mTheMan: Ahhh,.. I think I understand now

I'mTheMan: Anyway, Minneapolis - St. Paul share the same airport

Bush43: Oh Crap! This is a trap!

I'mTheMan: What?

Bush43: It's a trick John, we gotta move the convention!

I'mTheMan: Why?

Bush43: First, according to the CIA, Minnesota is a Democrat state
Bush43: Second, if Minneapolis - St. Paul share an airport...
Bush43: We are gonna get hit-up for a gazillion dollar loan to build another airport so each one has it's own airport.
Bush43: We need to outwit the Democrats by not showin' up

I'mTheMan: Mr. President, as unbelievable it is for me to say this...
I'mTheMan: In my opinion, you are WAY OVER-THINKING the situation

Bush43: Really?
Bush43: I trust your judgement, John

I'mTheMan: I need to go, sir

Bush43: Okee dokee...
Bush43: Keep me posted on the campaign
Bush43: I got a feelin' in my gut that you are going to pull it off

I'mTheMan: Uh,... thank you, Mr. President

Bush43: Later - time to play horseshoes

I'mTheMan: Bye

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Feb 27: Obama and McCain are Giddy

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5:21 AM EST Wednesday February 27, 2008

POWSenator: Hey Champ!

BigMo4DC: Good Morning, Senator
BigMo4DC: Let's not get carried away

POWSenator: A tie goes to the front-runner!

BigMo4DC: Again, there's a long way to go

POWSenator: Not for me!

BigMo4DC: I get that - but I still have work to do

POWSenator: Not for long you don't

BigMo4DC: DUDE!
BigMo4DC: This is like trying to study when a fraternity brother wants to party!

POWSenator: Beer run?

BigMo4DC: Texas and Ohio are in a week and I have to keep putting pressure on her

POWSenator: Not to take credit from you, but...
POWSenator: She's doing a bang-up job of losing - and it's ugly!
POWSenator: Who could have predicted such an implosion?

BigMo4DC: I like to think MY TEAM had something to do with it

POWSenator: That's the fighting spirit I know and love!

BigMo4DC: I have not stopped fighting - it's keeping me busy
BigMo4DC: Don't YOU have something to do?

POWSenator: Except for watching the NY Times crucify its own staff,... no.

BigMo4DC: You handled it well.

POWSenator: Yeah,... kinda boring just sitting around waiting for the convention
POWSenator: Hey - wanna go to a baseball game?

BigMo4DC: You're serious?

POWSenator: Cubs - D-Backs, baby!
POWSenator: They play at Wrigley May 9-10-11

BigMo4DC: That would be fun, actually

POWSenator: I'll check www.stubhub.com and try to get 37 seats together

BigMo4DC: 37?

POWSenator: Wives, Children, Secret Service... it adds up
POWSenator: Barack, we are about to experience a whole new level of complexity
POWSenator: This summer, we can't burp without making headlines

BigMo4DC: Not looking forward to that part

POWSenator: A baseball game with the families would show we are regular guys and friendly competitors

BigMo4DC: If I catch a foul ball, I could give it to a disabled person

POWSenator: See - you DO like the idea!

BigMo4DC: Sports pages everywhere would have a photo of me giving you the ball

POWSenator: Huh?
POWSenator: Oh, I GET IT... very funny...
POWSenator: Don't be "a clinton"

BigMo4DC: now THAT's very funny
BigMo4DC: Really, I gotta go

POWSenator: So, you'll think about it?

BigMo4DC: Sure

POWSenator: Keep up the good work
POWSenator: But only until your convention
POWSenator: ;)

BigMo4DC: Take Care, Senator

POWSenator: You too

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Feb 18: McCain and Huck Confer

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10:32 PM EST Monday February 18, 2008

POWSenator: Governor?

WWHD: Yes, Senator

POWSenator: Can you believe Hillary these days?

WWHD: Striking back like a cornered animal

POWSenator: Totally

WWHD: The back-room arm-twisting is a disgrace

POWSenator: It's all about "Who can beat McCain"
POWSenator: She's going to screw the electorate to grab power

WWHD: Sad, really

POWSenator: More like pathetic

WWHD: Not fun to watch

POWSenator: Actually, I disagree
POWSenator: This is INCERDIBLY fun to watch
POWSenator: There's nothing else on TV
POWSenator: The writers's strike screwed up prime time

WWHD: You have TIME for regular TV?

POWSenator: It keeps me sane

WWHD: I had no idea...

POWSenator: The new American Idol season looks promising
POWSenator: Simon has been nearly human
POWSenator: And,... Paula has "wandered off the reservation" only once

WWHD: Hmm,... I don't watch it

POWSenator: It's a compelling look at one part of the electorate

WWHD: Uh,.. which part?

POWSenator: The "I am a freak and will wait in line for 8 hours for one measly shot to be one of 24 people who MAYBE have a chance at making one CD."
POWSenator: The one problem is that this very narrow segment doesn't vote

WWHD: How do you know?

POWSenator: Watch the show and you will understand...

WWHD: I'll take your word for it

POWSenator: I'm betting on this blonde chick from the sticks
POWSenator: Brooke White from Mesa Arizona - sings like a choir girl
POWSenator: Gotta support AZ!
POWSenator: You would love her

WWHD: 'skuse me?

POWSenator: Sorry - church joke.

WWHD: No worries

POWSenator: So, let'e get back to the GOP primaries

WWHD: I'm still in
WWHD: Don't want to argue about it, either...

POWSenator: You are nothing if not tenacious
POWSenator: This is like watching a Rocky movie in reverse

WWHD: Which one?

POWSenator: Doesn't matter...
POWSenator: You get your butt kicked and walk out of the ring at the end

WWHD: I thought Rocky always...
WWHD: On second though - nevermind
WWHD: I am staying in for now

POWSenator: Not surprising but not a problem
POWSenator: I have all the delegates I need

WWHD: I respect you - just respect me, o.k.?

POWSenator: Whatever
POWSenator: Hey, I gotta go - Hannity and Colmes are on
POWSenator: Colmes loves Hillary and Hannity Hates me
POWSenator: It's like watching a bizzaro world Celebrity Apprentice

WWHD: How often do you watch them?

POWSenator: Religiously - ha, ha!

WWHD: Funny

POWSenator: I really gotta go - don't want to miss anything

WWHD: At least it's important...

POWSenator: Thanks for understanding

WWHD: No sweat...

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Feb 11: McCain Tweaks Huckabee

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9:21 AM AM EST Monday February 11, 2008

POWSenator: Governor?

WWHD: Good Morning, Senator

POWSenator: You had a nice weekend

WWHD: We're pumped-up this morning

POWSenator: That's what I want to ask about...
POWSenator: Are you too pumped up?

WWHD: What are you getting at?

POWSenator: The Potomac Primaries tommorrow...

WWHD: We believe we have a chance in Virginia

POWSenator: Yeah,....
POWSenator: A very, very, very slim change

WWHD: We don't see it that way.

POWSenator: Look, I could peel off a mask and expose myself to be Bin Laden and still sweep tommorow.

WWHD: Don't be ridiculous

POWSenator: I'm not
POWSenator: The polls are speaking

WWHD: The same polls that had Obama winning New Hampshire?

POWSenator: There's a big difference between margin of error and MIRACLE

WWHD: Excuse me, but I understand Miracles

POWSenator: Yeah, yeah, I know
POWSenator: Well, unless someone is going to turn water into votes, this is over

WWHD: Let's cut to the chase
WWHD: I am not bowing out just yet

POWSenator: We're spending precious money, Mike
POWSenator: Texas is a month away and it is all academic at that point

WWHD: Still, I am not ready to concede

POWSenator: Have it your way
POWSenator: One question

WWHD: Sure...

POWSenator: When does your Gubernatorial re-election race start?
POWSenator: And will you need any help?

WWHD: First, that was two questions - can't you count?
WWHD: Second, is that a threat?

POWSenator: Yes I can count...
POWSenator: Especially the counting of delegates!
POWSenator: Not a threat - just politics

WWHD: I thought our relationship was beyond that

POWSenator: Money tends to change everything

WWHD: A noted Jewish Rabbi said something about that

POWSenator: Since when do you hang with Rabbis?

WWHD: You completely missed my point

POWSenator: Whatever...

WWHD: We'll talk after the Potomac Primaries

POWSenator: THINK about the party, Mike

WWHD: Please stop hassling me
WWHD: I'm really trying to be polite with you

POWSenator: O.K.

WWHD: Have a nice day, Senator
WWHD: I mean that, sincerely

POWSenator: Actually, I believe you
POWSenator: You are just too nice for this game

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Feb 10: MCain and Obama Sweep

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9:24 AM EST Sunday February 10, 2008

POWSenator: Barack?

BigMo4DC: Hello, Senator

POWSenator: Please, call me John

BigMo4DC: O.K., John

POWSenator: I am impressed with your campaign

BigMo4DC: Thank you
BigMo4DC: And I with yours

POWSenator: Thanks

BigMo4DC: We were counted out by peers
BigMo4DC: We weren't even counted in polls
BigMo4DC: We could only count on ourselves
BigMo4DC: Now people are counting on us
BigMo4DC: To change things too numerous to count
BigMo4DC: To be there for people when it counts
BigMo4DC: To never be counted out!

POWSenator: DUDE!
POWSenator: Don't go into speech mode on me...

BigMo4DC: Sorry - habit

POWSenator: Trust me, I understand.

BigMo4DC: We both are bucking the norms, the party leaders

POWSenator: What about the bucking party leaders?

BigMo4DC: HA! That's funny!

POWSenator: Anyway, I was just calling to congratulate you
POWSenator: From underdog to lead dog

BigMo4DC: Thank you
BigMo4DC: I do have it easier in the media than you
BigMo4DC: Hannity, Coulter, Rush - all on your back

POWSenator: Whatever. The people have spoken

BigMo4DC: Amen to that

POWSenator: We'll get after it in November

BigMo4DC: Too True

POWSenator: No go kick some Texas butt!

BigMo4DC: We're tryin'
POWSenator: Ever see Start Wars?
POWSenator: Where E.T. says the famous line
POWSenator: "There is no TRY, only DO"

BigMo4DC: Uhh,... I think you mean Star Wars
BigMo4DC: and the character was Yoda

POWSenator: Whatever - you get what I'm saying

BigMo4DC: I certainly do, Senator
BigMo4DC: Thanks for the encouragement

POWSenator: We underdogs gotta stick together...
POWSenator: And stick it to 'em

BigMo4DC: Absolutely!
BigMo4DC: Talk to you later -

POWSenator: bye -

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Feb 7: Romney Bails Out

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1:35 PM AM EST Thursday February 7, 2008

CouldaBeenAContender: Senator?

POWSenator: Ahh,.. I have been waiting for this

CouldaBeenAContender: I am withdrawing

POWSenator: From one of your wives?...
POWSenator: IM me when you are done

CouldaBeenAContender: Don't be disgusting

POWSenator: Sorry. I was in the Navy
POWSenator: On a ship, everything is a dirty joke

CouldaBeenAContender: Whatever...

POWSenator: Will you endorse?

CouldaBeenAContender: Well, I WILL talk about bringing the party together

POWSenator: But any endorsement is off the table?

CouldaBeenAContender: Pretty much

POWSenator: Why?

CouldaBeenAContender: John, you're practically Joe Biden

POWSenator: Hmm,... well,... good point

CouldaBeenAContender: Where are you going from here?

POWSenator: Me and Huck will have to figure that out

CouldaBeenAContender: You and Huck?

POWSenator: He might be my running mate
POWSenator: He'd make a good VP, actually
POWSenator: He could go to foreign dignitary funerals as a pastor AND as VP

CouldaBeenAContender: You're serious?

POWSenator: Yeah - why?

CouldaBeenAContender: That seems shallow

POWSenator: Excuse me, who is speaking?

CouldaBeenAContender: Good point
CouldaBeenAContender: Anyway, with that I will say good luck

POWSenator: Thanks

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Feb 7: McCain and Huckabee Team Up

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10:37 AM AM EST Thursday February 7, 2008

POWSenator: Mike?

WWHD: Hi John
WWHD: How are you?

POWSenator: Good Thanks
POWSenator: Mitt Split

WWHD: Yeah,... I just heard
WWHD: so what's up?

POWSenator: With the robot out of the way the campaign becomes clear
POWSenator: The VP selection is important

WWHD: Absolutely

POWSenator: You got the South... nice job

WWHD: Important block of delegates - and states for Nov

POWSenator: That's what I am gettin' at...
POWSenator: I got you, babe

WWHD: Wasn't that a Sonny and Cher song?

POWSenator: Who's Sonny and Cher?

WWHD: They were on TV in the early 70's

POWSenator: I didn't watch much TV in the early 70's
POWSenator: The POW camp didn't have cable

WWHD: Oh,... I am sorry about my comment
WWHD: I apologize, in no way was that...

POWSenator: Dude! you are waaay too sensitive
POWSenator: But that will be VERY useful

WWHD: Useful? How-so?

POWSenator: With voters

WWHD: I see what you are getting at

POWSenator: It's time, Mike.
POWSenator: The GOP needs unity and clarity

WWHD: I agree on that point

POWSenator: The delegate situation is quite clear

WWHD: Agree as well

POWSenator: Then let's make this official and start conserving energy and resources for the big dance

WWHD: I just can't condone dancing ;)

POWSenator: What?

WWHD: Just a little right-wing humor

POWSenator: Gotcha... :)

WWHD: One thing -

POWSenator: What?

WWHD: This has to be about issues
WWHD: This is not about a woman in the race or ANY racial elements
WWHD: All people are equal in God's eyes and I don't back away from that

POWSenator: There's a woman in the race?
POWSenator: Someone needs to prove that

WWHD: I won't go there
WWHD: But seriously John - just the issues
WWHD: My supporters care about equality

POWSenator: We can make that work

WWHD: Then I am ready to meet when you are

POWSenator: Perfect-o

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Feb 6: McCain Gloats

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4:35 AM AM EST Wednesday February 6, 2008

POWSenator: G'Morning Brigham

I'mPresidential: Knock it off, Senator

POWSenator: Congratulations on winning the thriving metropolis of Alaska,...
POWSenator: the megaplex that is North Dakota,
POWSenator: the sprawling electorate in Montana
POWSenator: and frozen voters in Minnesota

I'mPresidential: ... not going anywhere

POWSenator: That's what the Viet Cong told me
POWSenator: they were wrong, too

I'mPresidential: and I also won Massachusetts, Utah and Colorado

POWSenator: Where I come from, we call those "gimmees"

I'mPresidential: Do you have anything substantial to say?
I'mPresidential: I have an appt. in 10 minutes

POWSenator: Haircut?

I'mPresidential: Listen, War-child, this is NOT over

POWSenator: I'm trembling

I'mPresidential: I could win more states.

POWSenator: Not in the South...
POWSenator: You got "Hucked"

I'mPresidential: So did you!

POWSenator: Not like you did, my friend

I'mPresidential: I can win more states!

POWSenator: Sure you can.
POWSenator: Guam and Kansas are on Saturday

I'mPresidential: Those matter too!

POWSenator: You seem testy
POWSenator: Ever go on a mission to Guam?
POWSenator: Must be miserable wearing a white shirt and skinny black tie in that humidity...

I'mPresidential: When I win those you will eat your words

POWSenator: Oooooh,.... I can't wait to see Meet the Press on Sunday
POWSenator: Someone will say you will have momentum
POWSenator: 10 minutes later I will have it back

I'mPresidential: I have no time for this

POWSenator: Gotta get back to shredding donor money in your futile campaign?

I'mPresidential: Jerk!

POWSenator: BYE-BYE... I mean that.

Feb 3: McCain and Mitt Collide

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6:41 AM EST Saturday February 3, 2008

POWSenator: Mitt?

I'mPresidential: I'm here

POWSenator: So how are YOU this morning?

I'mPresidential: Fine , thanks.

POWSenator: You see the L.A. Times?

I'mPresidential: Not yet. Did the Jazz win last night?

POWSenator: Screw the Jazz. The Times endorsed me!

I'mPresidential: Oh...

POWSenator: Don't you get a paper?

I'mPresidential: YES John...

POWSenator: Couldn't someone run out to one of "those stores"

I'mPresidential: what do you mean?

POWSenator: One of those "Mom & Mom & Mom & Pop Stores" you have in Utah

I'mPresidential: Oh, a Mormom joke... thanks

POWSenator: Ha, Gotcha!

I'mPresidential: Did you just IM me to gloat?

POWSenator: Not completely

I'mPresidential: What's on your mind? I need to get my hair done. in 5 min

POWSenator: You and your effing hair

I'mPresidential: Get to the point

POWSenator: I'm formally accepting applications for the VP slot

I'mPresidential: Isn't this a bit presumptive, Senator?

POWSenator: Not really.
POWSenator: I won't accept anything before Tuesday at 10:00 PM PST
POWSenator: After my California victory bash

I'mPresidential: Eeek Gads! you're serious

POWSenator: Serious as bamboo being showed under your nails

I'mPresidential: I'm not giving up!

POWSenator: That's what I told the Vietnamese
POWSenator: While I respect the attitude, your situation is dire

I'mPresidential: I have TWO SILVERS!

POWSenator: Whoop dee flippin' dooo...
POWSenator: Put them on the shelf next to your souvenir olympic torch

I'mPresidential: Not nice!

POWSenator: Do you have to go to Temple and confess after every campaign speech?

I'mPresidential: Twerp!

POWSenator: If you are going to deal with Putin, you better learn to curse

I'mPresidential: Putin?

POWSenator: President and self-appointed Prime Minister of Russia...
POWSenator: It's a huge country East of Europe...
POWSenator: Drive through Poland and hang a left

I'mPresidential: Stop being condescending. I have to go

POWSenator: I agree. IT IS time for you to go

I'mPresidential: Later, jerk

POWSenator: Go fix your damn hair, cutie
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